E-WAY ARE-AY E-THAY ILTHIEST-FAY EOPLE-PAY IN-AY E-THAY ORLD-WAY!

That's "We Are The Filthiest People In The World" in Pig Latin (what else?), from a scene that was cut from John Waters' trash masterpiece Pink Flamingos (1972) but appears on the DVD. Words fail me when it comes to this film, but the plot hinges on two families in a battle to the death for the coveted title of The Filthiest People Alive. Forget Squalor Level 4, this is Squalor Level Ten Million. Not for the faint of heart or stomach, but I think everyone should see it at least once. Try to envision a 300-lb. drag queen skipping merrily through the woods outside of Baltimore with her two partners in filth and crime, all chanting this slogan at the top of their lungs. I find it heartwarming, but then I would.

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Yesterday I did laundry, washed dishes, cleaned up my computer's hard drive, did some other minor maintenance-type tasks, and got another empty box, into which I threw a bunch more stuff -- papers, small electricals & cords -- in anticipation of having my carpet removed. In the evening I called my landlord and asked him what day and time I could expect him to replace the refrigerator and take out the water-damaged rug, so that I could be sure to be here to help with moving the furniture and putting it back. (Late last week, when the fridge problem occurred, he told me that it would be on "Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday" -- that is, yesterday, today, or tomorrow.)

During our phone conversation it soon became clear, without his ever quite saying so, that my landlord regretted having offered -- repeat: offered -- to take out my rug, and would rather not do it. I said "If you and Chris [the caretaker] aren't going to be able to remove the carpet, it's OK, but I need to know so that I can plan accordingly." He simply would not give me a straight answer no matter how I approached the matter, and could not tell me when they would be here since he hadn't checked with Chris (who is his son). Finally, defeated, I asked him to call me back after he'd talked to Chris and at least let me know when they'd be here, since I have several things going on this week and want to be present for whatever they end up doing. He assured me that he would. He still hasn't. FUME. I need to either pack more stuff up or unpack and start organizing; I'm not about to try moving this furniture (some of which is quite heavy) and disposing of the wall-to-wall carpet myself. Meanwhile I have fewer piles lying around, replaced by several boxfuls of jumbled stuff. GREAT.

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Thank you to the people who read this blog and those who comment on it. I'm flattered, and glad someone is enjoying it besides me.